Blues Views Vol I

Confidence In Front of The Crowd

As I am sitting writing this, I am doing a little reminiscing. It is about this time two years ago, that I played my very first gig at a club called Warmdaddy's in Philadelphia. Now that I think about it, it's exactly a year ago that I began recording my debut album. I cannot emphasize enough how much I have learned and grown since these two precious landmarks in my life took place.

I spoke with my sister on the phone today. She is a middle school teacher going through her second year of training in preparation for the start of school this September. She told me laughingly of all the activities that the teachers were encouraged to do, as a way of building confidence, and eliminating fears they may have going into the new school year. One of the activities involves walking and balancing on a wooden log, raised three stories high above the ground. This sort of activity is a mental challenge, as well as an emotional challenge which requires overcoming any apprehensions the individual may have.

Though I've learned some invaluable things in those two years, I still have many apprehensions and mental barriers that I hope to overcome.

I recently attended a performance by great Blues/Soul vocalist Janiva Magness, who seems on the surface to contain zero apprehension. In fact, it appears Janiva's level of apprehension is in the high negatives. Janiva, is not only a dynamic, seasoned performer, but a kind, down-to-earth person whose persona, stage presence and sense of humor make it more than apparent, that she has come into her own, and is completely comfortable with her herself--particularly her body. There is no apprehension and no self-consciousness evident inside this woman.

She is a great storyteller as well. During the show, she shared a story with the audience about a recent, potentially hurtful experience she had at a festival, which according to her did not faze her in the least bit. She had just finished doing a set for a crowd of thousands, and when she stepped off the stage, a man approached her and proclaimed to her bluntly, 'You have lunch lady arms'.

With a self-assured smile on her face, Janiva then held up her arms, wiggled and jiggled them proudly, without the least bit of shame. She demonstrated to the audience these wobbly, so called, "lunch lady arms".

Judging by Janiva's iron confidence, I'm sure she has encountered much of the same criticism as she did the day at the festival. Such a critique would be a crushing insult to someone who hadn't built up the kind of armor it takes to protect, and preserve one's self-esteem. Many people are critical, especially of the appearances of female performers. That's just the way it is. Janiva knows this, has experienced it, and is able to laugh at such nonsense when it's thrown at her.

Throughout the short time that I've been performing, I've encountered similar criticism. After a few of these "slaps in the face", so to speak, I'm learning to become immune to ridiculous comments and critiques, and I'm learning fast. I know longer care, or wonder why people might look at me up and down while I'm on stage. In all probability, they are listing in their heads each and every one of my bodily imperfections. I don't care. I feel great about myself. The realization that people are analyzing my body used to be a strange feeling, but now it has only hardened me (in a good way). Watching and hearing Janiva was certainly an inspiration to me.

Gaining comfort and confidence with oneself and paying little regard to what other people think about the way you look, is a part of life's journey, especially a musician's journey, and more specifically a female musician's journey. Let's face it, when it comes to judging looks, women have it the hardest. There has always been more pressure on us.

I know I will continue along this journey (which has only just begun), and come in contact with many rude and crude critics, who think my body is too this or too that. I'll just have to blow off what the critics say, though this could be easier said than done.

Two years ago at my first gig, I probably would have cried over harsh words about my appearance. Now, two years later, I'm learning to stick my tongue out at the critics, and keep walking steadily along my cheery way.

In terms of dedicating my life to this music business, sometimes I still wonder what I am getting myself into. There is nothing easy about it, but music and singing are my passions and there is nothing else in the world I would rather spend my life doing.

However, from time to time, I still feel like I am three stories high, just as my sister was, balancing myself on a weak wooden log, hoping not to fall and crash.

I know that if I do crash, I'd have the proper padding (if you know what I mean), to ease the stress of the fall. That is something of which I am totally confident!

Gina Sicilia is a 22-year-old blues & R&B artist, who resides in Philadelphia. Her debut CD Allow Me To Confess reached number three on the XM radio's Bluesville, and debuted at #10on the Living Blues radio charts. The record has already made a enormously positive impression within the Blues world. To visit Gina's website go to www.ginasicilia..com or to purchase Allow Me To Confess visit www.amazon.com

Email Gina

Gina Sicilia is a 22-year-old blues & R&B artist, who resides in Philadelphia. She was recently nominated for a 2008 Blues Music Award under the category of "Best New Artist" for her critically acclaimed debut CD "Allow Me To Confess." The record has been receiving enormous radio play and has made a overwhelmingly positive impression within the Blues world. To visit Gina's website go to www.ginasicilia..com or to purchase Allow Me To Confess visit www.amazon.com

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